


CHASING CARS (i dont quite know how to say how i feel)

by Seungbinonthelow



Series: Fics inspired by Sleeping at last [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, M/M, Mentioned Lee Minho | Lee Know, Seo Changbin is scared of love, Seo Changbin-centric, Seungmin helps, Slice of Life, minsung(?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-22
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-26 17:21:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30109410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seungbinonthelow/pseuds/Seungbinonthelow
Summary: “He was so used to the concept of chasing after love and acknowledging that it was as useless as a dog chasing after a car that had no intention of stopping. It was fun while you ran but he knew he wouldn’t know what to do it it ever stopped.”Or;Changbin is new to the concept of loving and this unknown road is a bit scary.
Relationships: Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin
Series: Fics inspired by Sleeping at last [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2215629
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	CHASING CARS (i dont quite know how to say how i feel)

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired sleeping at last cover of “chasing cars” this was my own way of interpreting the song based on what was said by the artist. Their songs are amazing and they all have such beautiful meanings it’s a shame not to give them a listen!

🚙🐾

  
It’s easy to give love even when it is not returned, that’s why for some it is so easy to love  yet so hard to accept that they are loved in return. 

Changbin was a _lover_ , he loved loving and coming up with —what he thought were silly— ideas of what it’ll be like if the person he happened to be infatuated with would return his love. He daydreamed of their future together and the places he’ll love to visit with them and the gifts he’ll love to give, and —most importantly— the  love . The love he _wished_ to give. 

He was so used to the concept of chasing after love and acknowledging that it was as _useless_ as a dog chasing after a car that had no intention of stopping. It was fun while you ran, the adrenaline and the thrill of feeling like the victory is just in between the gaps between your fingers made it exhilarating, even if he didn’t make it he’ll try again because he was so close —so, so close— that he felt like if he ran  one more time he’ll make it. 

Changbin was a _lover_ , but, he was also a dreamer. He lived all his life dreaming about the love he could give if —only if— he was able to catch up to the car. Since he only dreamed he felt lost when he finally caught up to love, he dreamed about the positive sides of love that he didn’t realize how  scary it could be. 

“I think -no- I’m in love with you, and I don’t know what to do.” He held his breath waiting for the reaction, waiting for him to walk away or laugh at him but Seungmin held him close whispering softly in his ear; “I’m in love with you, too.” Suddenly Changbin’s chest felt light again as he looked at Seungmin in the eyes for any sign of uncertainty but he found  none . 

From that day he loved, he did and he tried his best but underneath all that love, there was  _ fear _ . He was scared of his inexperience with  real love and inexperience with articulating his feelings. The questions inside of his head were a lot. Was this enough? Did my words mean to you what they meant to me? We’re they enough? Am I enough? 

“It’s just-“ Changbin choked up a little bit before continuing, “it’s just hard, I’m used to wasting time in my head chasing these ideas of all of the things I would do when love comes, but I’m just- I don’t know what I’m d-doing.” Changbin let a rough laugh as he felt the warm tears streaming down his face. “I know it’s stupid, like why am I scared of having something I always wanted I- it’s just that I love him so much - so so much that I’m scared to mess up.” He saw Jisung look at him with a sad smile as he patted his back gently and said reassuringly;

“Love is scary, like- it comes unexpectedly and uninvited leaving no room to prepare for its tight grasp, so it’s okay to be scared. Love is scary and it hurts, it hurts to feel like you can’t make the person understand how much they mean to you and it hurts to not know what to do with love, so it’s okay, hyung trust me.” Jisung smiled at him soothingly, still patting his back gently. “I’m scared too.” Jisung whispered into the air softly, knowing that Changbin didn’t hear him as he was passed on top of the bar table they were currently occupying.

“Seungmin over here!” Jisung shouted waving his left arm as he kept Changbin upright with his right hand. 

“You sure you don’t want a ride, sung?” Seungmin asked once again as he settled Changbin in the back seat of his dark blue car. “Yup Minho-hyung is picking me up.” With a small teasing smile Seungmin replied refusing to drive off until Minho showed up, with short goodbyes they parted ways. 

Love was so many things and it was shown in so many ways, yet, Changbin felt like it was too little. It wasn’t too little it’s just that the options presented to him were hard to use. It made him feel sick in the stomach to think that love was there, it was for him and he was scared that if he didn’t show that he loved they would be cruel and take his love away. Sometimes he thinks it was easier chasing cars. 

“I know you love.” Seungmin had said once as they sat together cuddled up on the couch, Seungmin laid on top of Changbin’s chest. “Huh” Seungmin repeats, “I know you love me and I know it’s been hard for you to accept that but I need you to believe me. I need you to believe me when I tell you that just because it’s a  _ confusing roadway  _ it doesn’t mean that we can’t get to our destination.” Seungmin smiled so brightly that night, he never stopped not even when he wiped Changbin’s tears and whispered soft reassuring words to him.

“Words are not always enough when you love so _immensely_ , but- I know for sure that we’ll make it through and love each other in our own way. Is scary but no matter what, Just know that these things will  never change for us at all.” 

Changbin was a lover, even though it was a bit scary traveling through dark roadways he knew that with the guide of his lover holding his hand and shining his lovely light upon him he could make it out of there safely and with a new-found knowledge of a road he didn’t know before.

_ “Those three words _

_ Are said too much _

_ They're not enough” _

**___**

**___**

_The phrase 'Chasing Cars' came from Gary's father, referring to a girl Gary was infatuated with: "You're like a dog chasing a car. You'll never catch it and you just wouldn't know what to do with it if you did."_

**Author's Note:**

> Maybeeee I’m a bit scared about the concept of love. I have never experienced it but I’ve seen it and it wasn’t that pleasant but I guess one for their way of loving. I wrote this at 2am when these thoughts of what love was and what kind of love I wanted hit me. It’s scary to think about about it and idk I guess that I projected my feelings onto Changbin:/ hope you guys enjoyed the story! Comments and kudos are really appreciated!


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